This Album Cover Though – MOTHXR


It’s just everything. How? What? Perfect.

The kill me now school picture back drop. Headphones that killed your hearing because the music was never loud enough.

That eye shadow though.

Let’s not forget the hair. Aquanet queen! ????

I’m glad I was a g*ddamn child in the 80s. 90s fashions seem so boring and normal in comparison.

That colorful cascade of nylon. The swishy feeling of borrowing my Grandma’s colorful windbreaker. Yup.

Walkmans. Yaas girl.

What is she daydreaming of? Thighmaster infomercials? A blue eye shadow #motd? The time her hair caught on fire??

We’ll never know for sure.

And you know what? The album music is pretty good too. I’ve never heard of Mothxr and picked it soley based on being a new release and the artwork.

I think I’m into these 80s sounds revisited. VHS Dreams is another good example.

???? ????

Old Eating Habits

Thinking back on high school eating and exercise habits.

I never realized how daily calisthenics in gym class and a few other key factors really affected my ‘natural’ slimness in high school.

I took it for granted.

Looking back I think part of it is that someone else had control of that. They told me I had to go to gym class. And with a few eye rolls I had to do jumping jacks, situps, pushups, burpees, go to the weight room (Tuesdays and Thursdays), or run a certain number of laps.

Is that why people have such success with trainers? Because someone is telling them what to do?

My eating habits and height also contributed.

I know I had poor body image, but I don’t ever think I had an eating disorder in high school. For breakfast I usually had a banana or nothing at all. It’s not that I was limiting calories, it was more, I didn’t want to go poop. Especially at school.

Eating meant possible gas, stomach pains, embarrassment. I would need to leave class and announce it to the world. Would the teacher even let me leave?

Going in a public bathroom where the mean bitches could be mean (I don’t even know what would happen, but I had a good enough imagination).

Lunch was almost always less than $1. Growing up my Dad was very very frugal. I was not the kid with lunchables, pacific suns, hot lunches, or anything similar.

If it was fun we probably got it at Aldi so the off color, off branding, off flavor was nothing to be proud of. Oh you have Gushers?? I have these grey oozers that barely have any fruity corn syrup in them.

So, I never asked my Dad for money and there wasn’t always school appropriate things to take for lunch or I didn’t want to.

I grew up putting half of my money into savings and the freedom to spend the rest. It wasn’t much, but the ‘fun’ half went towards school lunches, and anything else. Daily lunches averaged around $1.  75¢ for a bagel with cream cheese and 25¢ for a milk.

Hardly any calories. Certainly no nutrition.

Day in. Day out.

Dinner was probably the best meal of the day, but first there was post school snacking—which I only realize while typing this that, that was more likely my lunch. I would make a sandwich, have chips, or eat leftover coffee cake on the counter. Interesting.

Dinner was usually a meat of some sort and a frozen vegetable. Our freezer, we had three of them, were filled with ice cream, bags of Aldi frozen vegetables, and meat.

The best meals my Dad made were crockpot chickens with carrots and potatoes. Sometimes even celery. They were pretty well rounded and always tasty.

And I always had cottage cheese. Good old cottage cheese.

So, I think I naturally fluctuated between restricting and binging, but I don’t think in a completely unhealthy way?? But I don’t know. It’s a hard thing to have perspective on.

Any binging I did was usually in the summer when my friend and I would walk from our East side homes the 2+ miles across town to Kiss the Sky and somewhere along that journey we would stop at a 7-11, White Hen Pantry, or gas station and pick up a Squirt or Cheetos—both if I was lucky.

I was and am still proud of my ability to put away a bigger bag of Cheetos. The crunch sensation, the cheese, the SALT, the leftover coating on my fingers. I still haven’t found a vegan snack as satisfying. But I gave up Cheetos long before I was vegan.

There was often a big snack after school and that’s probably because my lunches weren’t big.

I wonder how many calories I consumed back then on average??

#LivingFor // Santigold’s 99 Cents

Santigold 99 Cents

Yaaas Queen!!!

Ever since the season finale of The Mindy Project I’ve been obsessed with Santigold [tumblr].

Today she released 99 Cents, her third studio album.

It’s a g*ddamn treat to wait so patiently for something and have those accidental expectations exceeded—considering there are four years between records. Even though—technically—I haven’t waited 4 years. ????

I’m currently at my standing desk jamming and dancing to Banshee.

I wish the lyrics were already available. It’s kinda unbelievable how early I am listening to this. I’ve seen her videos and audio tracks pop up in my youtube sub feed, but didn’t realize the release date was today.

Track Listing & Thoughts

  1. Can’t Get Enough of Myself (featuring B.C.) [official audio] // a reggae-60s hybrid, easy to dance to
  2. Big Boss Big Time Business [official audio] // a song for any hardworking entrepreneur – jam out while dancing at your Ikea standing desk
  3. Banshee [official audio] // “let me play with fire tonight” – Happy Friday! I love to play with fire ????
  4. Chasing Shadows // much like the whole album, I just want it to be summer, sunny, and driving with the windows down and the wind in my hair
  5. Walking in a Circle [official audio] // I picture a Bowie-hybrid from Labyrinth/The Hunger stalking through a late 80s early 90s music video set with dry ice fog rolling around
  6. Who Be Lovin Me (featuring ILoveMakonnen) // also feeling an 80s vibe -love the beats
  7. Rendezvous Girl [official audio] // more 80s feels and it’s like I’m a kid in the middle of summer
  8. Before the Fire [official audio] // “I was born before the fire” feels very earthy and spiritual, I want to dance around in the forest with long wavy hair streaming down my back and the sun setting over the Palouse
  9. All I Got [official audio] // “you want it, you got it, come get it” yaaaas!
  10. Outside the War [official audio] // her voice tho, I’m living FOR IT!
  11. Run the Races [official audio] // one of the (maybe the only) slower song, good bass, it’s like dancing to a poem
  12. Who I Thought You Were [official audio] // “are you ever going to be who I thought you were?

Official Videos

The album is so so so good. I’m content. It’s on Spotify and Amazon Prime, but I want to buy it. Gotta support the art we love! xx

February Eighth Twenty Fifteen

Breakfast // 1/2 cup old-fashioned rolled oats, 1 cup+ mixed frozen blueberries, 1 banana, and water > blended into a smoothie.

Lunch // Big ASS salad with mixed greens, red leaf lettuce, mushrooms, onion, tomatoes, pickled peppers, carrot ribbons, coconut bacon, and thousand island dressing.

Dinner // Instant Pot soup (rice, broth, white carrots, daikon radish, celery, onion, garlic, and ginger). It was really thick due to the quantity of rice I used, but absolutely delicious. I think I would use 1/4-1/2 cup vs 1 cup of rice next time. Toast (3 slices)

Snacks // Complete cookie, apple, coconut bacon, and carrot.


None to report.


Photographed The Complete Cookies that arrived from Amazon today. They’re huge and delicious. My set came with 6 different flavors.

Organized notes.

Wrote a few posts.


Fed Mulder his new beta food, I think he likes it much better. The pieces are smaller and easier for him to grab.

Had a chat with Bluehost over this site and the SSL cert error I was getting for about an hour. Of course it fixed itself right before the chat started (post 30 minute wait time). I asked what the reason was and received a scripted response that wasn’t really the answer. Hrmpfh.

Keep thinking about how I need to send out Cameron’s birthday and Christmas gift, but am at a loss of what things a 13 year old boy without access to the internet might want or be able to use. I’d love to get him classes with Treehouse if internet weren’t an issue. Need to get on that.

Read too many comments on a Happy Healthy Vegan video and realized I want nothing to do with that sect of the community. All I can say is ‘be the good you want to see in the world’. People need to stop practicing reverse activism. 


Realized I’ve been exceptionally good at making tea lately and drinking ∅. Finally drank a cup of chamomile after dinner.


Weekend Recap No. 1

I want to practice more journaling so here we are with a weekend recap.

Let’s start with Friday

I’ve been working at catching up on subscription box reviews over at FYS and I feel satisfied and overwhelmed at the same time. Jeremy has asked me if there is a point I should just call it even and not worry about back posting. The thing is they’re a resource for myself and anyone else, so I don’t think I can let that go so easily.

Friday workout was a streaks (everyday), 13 mile bike ride, and a walk around the neighborhood.

While walking I’m always inspired with writing ideas that I never have time to come back to or the flow isn’t the same when back in front of the keyboard. Today I thought up chapter titles for a memoir.

Bulimic for a Week.

That Lesbian Haircut.

I also came up with a recipe that I made for dinner when I got home. It used Gardein beefless tips, white mushrooms, spaghetti—which I thought was angel hair, but wasn’t—onion, and beefless vegetable stock base.

I cooked the tips and set them aside. Sliced the mushrooms and onions and started sautéing them in a little bit of olive oil. Brought water to a boil in a too-small pot. Whisked up about a cup of broth and 1/2 cup of plant milk with 2 tablespoons corn starch. Brought broth to a boil and added cornstarch milk mixture to create a savory brown gravy. Cooked the noodles. Then mixed everything in a big pan: noodles, gravy, mushroom-onion mixture, tips, and a few extra spices. I would call it a stroganoff, but I don’t know. It was really good!

While eating we started the movie Sicario with Emily Blunt and Benicio del Toro. Highly recommend. A++ The music was fantastically different and went straight into my veins. Love that! The soundtrack is available on Spotify.


I got up and made these pancakes from ground up oats (oat flour), banana, pb, baking powder, and plant milk. They were good, but not as stiff when it came to flipping as I would like. I would modify the recipe and add a little chia flour or something. I’ve made so many pancakes that are healthier leaning that have a moist center. Is that just the way healthy vegan pancakes are? I don’t remember standard omnivore pancakes and their texture. My go-to vegan buttermilk ones at FYS aren’t like that so I’m not sure what it is. Maybe the chia flour makes all the difference.

I worked on FYS posts for quite awhile and then decided to venture out for errands. Jeremy was resting from his cold so it was a rare solo adventure.

I dropped recycling off at the recycling center, which I don’t normally have to do, but the ones at our complex have continuously stayed full. Also, dropped off a box for Goodwill.

Then Safeway. The day before the Super Bowl. In the afternoon. I’m brilliant.

Maneuvering around the store wasn’t bad just the checkout lanes. I bought potato varieties, broccoli, parsley, cilantro, juices, kombucha, mushrooms, bananas, oranges, apples, frozen fruit, bread, seltzer water, and probably some other stuff.

It seemed like a lot of stuff or about what we normally get, but like half the price. I don’t know if it’s Jeremy or the combo of us together, but we like to impulse shop and I seemed not to do that whilst by myself.

Got home and started making homemade fries and a potato-based nacho cheese sauce. Inspired by High Carb Hannah’s latest video.

Went upstairs and wrote some more.

Later around eight we watched The One I Love (imdb) with Mark Duplass and Elisabeth Moss. Written by Justin Lader. Directed by Charlie McDowell. Produced by the Duplass Brothers.

I’m now convinced I’ll watch anything the Duplass brothers are involved with.

Because this movie doesn’t go anywhere you’d expect and that is so invigorating. Maybe that means the trailer was really good too, because it was misleading. I remember feeling that way about Fight Club too.

A few months back we watched Creep, another movie with Mark Duplass and I think written by him too. Same similar invigorating suspenseful feelings. Very original stories and concepts.


Made hash browns from a package, but added mushrooms, red pepper, and onion. Cooked them in the griddler for about 20 minutes-until the top was crispy. Very tasty and a go-to lately.

Then I spent all day writing old posts/reviews.

Had leftover noodles sometime in the middle of the day with kalamata olives, nooch, peperoncinos, and mushrooms. Very good. Obvie.

Didn’t watch any of the Super Bowl except came down for half time. I go through phases with football and I’m currently on an out phase. I was thinking about how I don’t like Coldplay while watching them, but then thinking that I would be dancing and having fun if I was there sooooo why not just ‘be’ like you are there and enjoy it? Does that make sense?

Wrote some more. Then decided to wax my bikini area with these strips I had. That was only the second time I’ve waxed down there, the last time was when I was 20 or 21 and it didn’t go well. This time went significantly better in the sense I didn’t get hot wax on a favorite shirt and hair actually came out. What even?

There’s nothing more rewarding or satisfying then knowing you didn’t scream while looking at tufts of pubes matted into floral-esque pink wax.

Wrote. Went to bed. Couldn’t sleep. Read more of The Boys in the Boat and finally succumbed to sleep around 1 am.

Eat more veggies. xx

%d bloggers like this: